Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Mom, we would like to go home for lunch

One day, my daughter asked me why can't I bring them home for lunch.

"Mom, all my friends go home for lunch at least once a week, why do we have to go all the times?"
"It is very unfair, I hate going to the canteen. Sometimes I have to sit alone because those boys won't 
want me to sit with them, and all my girlfriends went home."
"You are working from home anyway, why can't you pick us up for lunch just like other mothers?"

I sighed.
While we are advised to not compare our kids to others', we parents are being compared to.
I don't know how they do it, but there sure are a bunch of parents able to send and pick up their kids, without ever going to the after school classes or canteen.

Kids here have school in the morning, a long lunch break, then resume the class in the afternoon. (In Malaysia, kids go to school either in the morning or in the afternoon, not the whole day). For lunch, they could either go home, or go to the canteen. Kids who go home, get picked up around 11:35am, and go back to school at around 1:35pm. Yes! Two hours lunch break!

I do not have 2 hours lunch break + 20 minutes for the drive. So I immediately said no to her. She was so disappointed, she kept asking, once a week. I was so upset, and torn apart. 
Yes, sometimes I work from home, but I have made that extra efforts to go pick them up right after school so that they don't have to stay in the after school class waiting for us.
But, when they are at home, sometimes I can't 100% concentrate on works. They fight, they scream, they ask for things, they want to share things with me....even though I told them million times that I AM WORKING!!!  They should consider themselves lucky because they only stay late twice a week in school, but still, they want more.

I felt that I have done my best. My lunch time is for myself. I get to each whatever I want, at the time I want, even in front of the computer continuing working, it was purely my choice. I do not want to put an alert to go pick them up, cook for them, eat with them, clean the dishes, entertain their demands. I need a break from them, isn't it too much too ask??

But, I yielded, as always, guilt to disappoint my child, guilt that they don't get to eat lunch at home while many others can. We did it once, it went well, they were happy, they asked for more, and I said we shall see.

The kids just drained up my energy. I don't even have any time/energy left to blog.




4 comments:

  1. I totally understand your perspective, it's A LOT of work to handle that lunch break at home. Honestly, if we were in France, I think Mark would eat at the "cantine" too. Many kids don't like it too much... depends on the years, the menu and the friends they hang out with. My school was literally up the street so I used to go home for a while, at least when my sister was a baby since my mum was home anyway. Then I ate at the cantine.

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    1. Did you have a good memories of your time eating at the canteen? I liked hanging out with my friends in canteen. But in Malaysia, our lunch break was very short, like 25 minutes.

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  2. Hi Ean,

    I feel you..at times can be quite heart-wrenching...you are not ALONE! hi-5 from a mom of 3 from Kuala Lumpur..who is your silent reader for sometime :)

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    1. Bravo to you, three kids to handle!

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