Sunday, September 13, 2009

An unfinished knitting project

I mentioned in my earlier post that hubby's godmother is having a knitting project for our little one. Unfortunately, she won't be able to finish it.

She passed away on Friday, after fighting for different illness and going through many surgeries for over 15 years, leaving behind her only son (hubby's cousin), her aging mother (hubby's grandmother) and her life partner.

We rushed to B town as soon as we received the call from my in laws. Once we arrived in the emergency ward, my MIL and the grandma were accompanying her, lifeless. I hugged the grandma, who was in deep sadness, and kept saying that life is so unfair. It is so unfair that her daugther left before her. All I can tell her was that her daughter is in Paradis with God.

My MIL didn't want me to stay too long in the emergency room, so we went back to the Godmother's house. It was sadden to see that all her belongingness were untouched, but she will never step foot in this house anymore. While my parents in laws were comforting the grandma and the uncle, me and hubby took care of the cousin, who just finished highschool and just started his first year of a tertiary studies.

The funeral is scheduled to be on Monday. The hospital is equipped with rooms with special temperature as transition rooms. We saw her again in one of these rooms, dressed in her favorite clothes. I have never been so close to a dead body, but I was not scared. She had always been nice to me, there was no point to be afraid, alive or dead.

The cousin proposed me to sleep in his room. Since he is very close to hubby, it would be nice that they could sleep together so hubby could be around him whenever he needs someone to talk to. At dawn, about 24 hours after she left, I woke up and suddenly thought of a question: how if she comes back to see her son and couldn't find him? In the Taoism believes, someone who just passed away would come back to see their love ones before they reincarnate. Then, knowing how she loves her son, I know she would find him if she wants to. In the morning after talking to my FIL, I realized that the Christians believe that the dead one will be with God forever and will not decend again to earth. So, it was nonesense to even think that she would come back.

On Saturday, grandma insisted to go to see her again. We sent her to the transition room, but suddenly I lost the courage to enter the room. In the afternoon we sent grandma again after lunch, and there were many friends and relatives came visiting, after reading the orbituary in newspaper. I was so curious, are they so many people reading through orbituary everyday to know who passed away everyday? And the answer is yes, some people do especially those working in churches and old people. Also, one person tells another and soon the news are spread.

During lunch, we learnt about all those paperworks that need to be taken care of after the funeral. Get an appointment with a lawyer for all the heritage issues, visit a banker for all the financial issues, inform the different governmental and business agencies of her death... Already, the uncle and my FIL were spending long hours choosing the funeral is just so exhausted to even think of all things that have yet to be done.

Our regret, is that she won't be able to see her Godgranddaugther, whom she was so eager to meet.


  1. Dear Bee Ean,

    Please accept my sincerest condolences in the loss of this very important woman to your husband, you, your unborn baby, and your extended French family. I hope that your family will be able to mourn her loss and celebrate her life together and become ever stronger as you deal with her absence.


  2. I'm so sorry for your loss. She will be up there looking after all of you, including your baby.

    Congrats on having a girl. :) If only I'm still living in Nantes, I would have lend u some of Victoire's clothes for your baby. Most of them only worn once or twice.

  3. You really so patience to do that..
    For me, i rather buy..