Saturday, March 20, 2010

Learning to be stronger

Aelig was admitted to the hospital on Monday after being diagnosed with the seasonal flu virus attack. She was very weak on Tuesday and refused to eat due to the blocked nose, heavy coughing and difficulty in breathing. She was given oxygen and milk through a tube. It was very hard to see her so lifeless and with two tubes attached to her nose. Thank God she recovered little by little and was discharged on Wednesday evening.

Her admission to the hospital was like adding salt to the wound for me as hubby broke his ankle a week before and is still relying on crutches. Since hubby couldn't drive and only one parent can stay at night to take care of Aelig, I was jiggling between home and the hospital for two days. While fetching and sending hubby home I had to leave Aelig alone in the hospital. She cried hard during our absence until she lost her voice. Each time we arrived we could hear her crying and it hurt us so much that we rushed to her bed to comfort her.

It was so tragic to have a sick baby in the hospital and a husband with crutches. I cried while driving, in the shower, while pumping my milk and while eating. I needed to cry to release all the stress gathered over the weeks after hubby got injured. I felt so helpless and lonely without my family here. Since none of my French family lives here they couldn't provide immediately help. I wished so much that someone could be there to take care of Aelig while I was gone or someone could fetch and send hubby.

I realized this is just the beginning of the challenges in the motherhood. There will still be many hurdle along the way. I need to let go the dependency on family and start to face each bump on the road myself. Looking back, in 2007 when hubby broke his arm, I was forced to drive as my family was here visiting, and eventually I was less afraid when my job needed me to commute long distance everyday. Now with this incident, I got familiar with the CHU Nantes and know where is the emergency room and where to park next time I need to go there again.

During the hard time, I'm learning to be stronger, for myself and for my family.


  1. Hi BE
    Life is hard at times. I do share your agony but let's pray that little Aelig will grow up to be strong and healthy. And all the experiences that you undergo will surely make you a stronger mummy.
    Take care.

  2. So sorry to hear that Aelig is not well. As parents its really tough to see one's precious little one fall ill. I hope she gets well soon! Hang in there, Bee!

  3. Good luck to the three of you... A sick baby is already a painful situation, but a baby at the hospital and a disabled husband is not a situation I envy.

  4. Sorry to hear that your baby was sick. It's hard on us parents feeling so helpless when our baby is sick. I know what you mean. I wish I'm still living in Nantes for I would gladly help you look after her for you.

    For flu in baby, they can blow it out so you need to buy those tube thing that you put it in her nose and suck out the mucus. I know it's disgusting but you'll get over it like I did. I'm sure the doc will also tell you to buy sea-salt vaporizer, spray into her nose, then suck out all the mucus to unblock her nose and also it helps to prevent the mucus from dripping into her lungs.

    To help her sleep better at night, prop a flat pillow underneath her baby mattress so that she is sleeping slightly inclined. That will help her to sleep better too.

    Hope she's feeling better now.

    Hugs from one mummy to another.