Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Their parents kicked them out

I was watching a documentary about young mothers and their life story. These young girls were pretty much got out of the track of their life: got pregnant at young age, broke up with boyfriend, stopped school, jobless...However, they are "lucky" that they live in France, as they got many helps from the government.

Case one
The girl with her one year old son and a dog receives 850 euros per month from the government. She was living in an apartment with no bathroom and the toilet is outside of the house, but a more acceptable apartment will cost her 480 euros per month, which will leave her 370 for foods and other expenses. Since she doesn't have money to send the son to childcare, she couldn't go out and work.

Case two:
At age 17, she got pregnant and later on have a daughter. Both her and her boyfriend didn't have a job. They lived with the boyfriend's parents, who later kicked her out as she was sleeping around with other guys. She was accepted in an association, where she continues her life and child experts teach her how to take care of her daughter.

Case three:
At age 25, she was pregnant again with another boyfriend, and left her 5 years old daughter with the x-boyfriend. She hadn't visited her daughter for several months due to financial difficulty. At the end, she got kicked out from her parents place.

In all these cases, I saw a problem: Where are the supports from the family members? I'm sure that if one day I had this kind of problem, I will have a home to go back, and start again. But these young ladies, they did many bad things that hurt their parents, but still, it is the time they needed the support most. Instead, their parents kicked them out. It is something I can't really understand in this society. I see the parents here do everything for the kids when they were borned. They were horrified at the ideas and practices of the Malaysians, where the babies stay overnight with the babysitter. But when the kids grow up and have problems, the parents just rejected them. Where are all those love go?

Have you known of parents in Malaysian who kicked their children out of the house?


  1. Anonymous8:29 PM

    hi BeeEan
    It's called accepting responsibilty for your actions. Sure some support from family is good - but please - I went back to MSia and what I saw were parents dumping their kids and the maid at the mall's playpen while they busy shop away.

    C'mon - even a gf of mine doesn't see her BABY that is a few months old because she is busy WORKING in another state. That is normal meh? She only sees her BABY once a month OK.

    I so tak faham how mothers can do that and think it's normal.

  2. Anonymous10:09 PM

    i think nowadays ppl tend to be too obsessed with their own lifestyle that they ignore the most important thing of all - love. one day, when their kids grow up...they will know. the bond is not that strong anymore.

    as for those who kick them out. they must remember that parents are the one who made them do that. if the parents brought the kids up properly, such things wouldn't have happened. instead of abandoning them, maybe the parents should forgive, accept and bring them back to the right path

  3. Different culture, different way in bringing up children.

    No body is perfect..parents are also not perfect. Encouragement should be given to the fallen child.

  4. That brings to a point that family is very important to a society. And I am afraid to see that we are witnessing the biggest decline in family value we have ever seen in history.

    I think it will be very interesting to see how the Malaysian society unfold when all the Malaysian cared-by-Indonesian maids children become adults; and also all the children who grow up in different states or country from the parents who are seeking for opportunities abroad or leave their children in another land where their mothers care for their education needs without their fathers present.

    I do believe it will be a very good case study for any anthropologists.

    I like to read how these children views, thoughts on their parents leaving them in the care of their Indonesian maids in pursue of her own careers, desires and fulfillments.


    When state take over family function, society crumbles and that is exactly what is happening to all countries that promote centralized government.

  5. Anonymous1:45 PM

    You're right about that. I've watched documentaries about women who left their family behind to work overseas as maids etc.

    The docu maker interviewed their children. Heartbreaking man. While the mothers try so hard to bring back dough for their kids upbringing,some kids end up in trouble because of the lack of supervision.
    A filipino mother had not been back for more than 2 years as she worked in the UK as a cleaner and sent back most of her gaji to her family back home.

    It's a pity that Asian governments do not look after their own; instead take advantage of their citizens cos they know their citizens send back foreign money. The lazy way out - take advantage of its citizens instead of making the work situation better at home.