After months (or year?) of procrastinating, we finally bought our wedding rings. I think now the parents in laws can relax :-) (they were worried).
According to wikipedia, "In Western cultures a wedding ring is traditionally worn on the ring finger. According to tradition in some countries, the wedding ring is worn on the left ring finger because the vein in the left ring finger, referred to as the vena amoris was believed to be directly connected to the heart, a symbol of love."
Since the very beginning, there has been a "discussion" between me and hubby: "Is it ok if I don't wear the ring after the wedding." His reaction was big, he strongly disagreed. For him wearing a ring is a commitment. The commitment I swear to follow, and the ring symbolizes it.
Well he grows up in the Christian community and I don't blame him. But I don't know when the rings started to have influences in the Chinese culture, and I don't even know when people exchange rings (during the registration? during the tea ceremony?). For me, it's a precious thing and I should keep it safely somewhere. The problem is I don't like to wear jewelry plus the fear I could lost it.
My Asian friends in US, told me that she doesn't wear it because she has lost it 3 times. Well it's not a big deal for her bcos her husband is an Asian too. Then, another guy lost his ring when he was playing beach volleyball. We were all searching under the sand but to no success.
At this point, I'm willing to give it a try, wear for several months and see how it goes. For my married friends out there, do you guys always have your ring? And for the non-married, will you wear it when it's your turn?
Bee Ean ... I wear mine because like Fabien, my husband gave me a horrified look when I suggested not to. I told him I'll wear for a year but it has been 4 now. I hardly realize it most of the time. You are right that it is our culture to treasure wedding rings for fear of loss. None of my sisters who married Chinese men wear theirs. It is somewhat funny isn't it? I thought Chinese men would be more insistent that wives wearing their rings.
ReplyDeleteBeeEan,
ReplyDeleteMy wedding ring always on my finger since day one Robert and I got married. Robert's too.
We never took them off; but occassionally just to clean them.
If your wedding ring fits right on your finger, you shouldn't be worried about losing it.
Yes, I agree with Fabian. Wedding rings should always be worn on the finger all the time.
Is there a difference between an engagement ring and a wedding band? If so, which hand do each belong?
ReplyDeleteAs you know, we're pacsed but I wear a ring that Fab gave me on my left hand. It keeps the men away, which can be handy when working in an all-male environment. He doesn't wear one now, but I'd like him to once we get married. He's worried it will be dangerous on the farm though, what with all the machinery and stuff.
ReplyDeleteIn US, almost everyone who's married wears a ring. It's not an Asian culture to wear ring, even after marriage, don't know why.
ReplyDeleteI wear mine everyday and so does hubby. He has mentioned that he does not understand why Asian's do not wear rings.
When he was single, he has approached Asian woman only to find out she is married but becos she does not have a ring, he doesn't know.
The ring is a symbol to let otherwise 'interested' parties know that "Hey, I'm taken" :-)
I don't believe in the ring but what is in the heart. A ring is just a symbol of commitment, but it is not a commitment. To be committed, it is all about the heart. No ring can keep a marriage if there is a change of heart.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Kuanhoong.
ReplyDelete"A ring is just a symbol of commitment, but it is not a commitment. To be committed, it is all about the heart. No ring can keep a marriage if there is a change of heart."
My husband wears it all the times because he said he is too cute for girls, ha ha ha ha.
Hi Bee Ean,
ReplyDeleteCongratulation!
I wear mine everyday for about 6 years now :-) My wife lost her's once but the insurance company got her a replacement (back from the same jeweller).
So..not to be seen as being bossy... I think you should wear it :-)
casper
Hi Casper,
ReplyDeleteWow, from where you comes from ? :):)
Jamy
We wear ours everyday since the day we exchanged ring. We both felt awkward at the beginning, but later you don't realised you even wearing it. But trust me, ppl do take notice and it's fabulous idea coming from Fabien himself. ;)
ReplyDeleteWe both wear our wedding rings though we take them off if we're swimming or playing sport - just in case. When we first started wearing the rings, my Hubs said that he felt like a dog who just got a collar and wanted to scratch at it all the time ;-)
ReplyDeleteI don't think I'd be too fussed if my husband didn't wear his ring. Some people just aren't "ring" people. A friend of mine's husband wears a "wedding watch" instead of a ring.
Bee, I don't wear mine at home because I do a lot of housework as I don't want to ruin the rings. I will wear it only when I am going out but husband wears his everyday. He is alright with that.
ReplyDeleteHi Bee,
ReplyDeleteI've worn mine from the time we were engaged. I used that engagement ring as the wedding ring at our courthouse marriage in Texas. Then a few months later, we had proper wedding bands (no fancy stuff, just plain gold bands) for the church wedding in Malaysia.
Wearing ring is just a symbol of commitment. In the western culture, which Eurasians in Asia pretty much follow, it is an indication that one is spoken for. So to others who are seeking, "lay off". :D
It was never a question for me to wear or not to wear. It was a tradition and one that should not be broken.
U know...the rings in the pic look like the one ring from Lord of the ring :P
ReplyDeleteAnd well, I do believe with Kuan hoong...a ring is just a symbol. I do know of few people who actually put the ring in their middle finger...from the 4th finger :P esp when they are 'clubbing' outside =_=
Everyone,
ReplyDeleteI will try to wear the ring as this is what Fabien wants. Personally I don't believe in it, but I do agree that it's a lot easier to have the ring to tell everyone that you are taken.
cirnelle,
I saw some women wear two rings on the same finger, so I think you can wear them on the same spot.
Hi,
ReplyDeleteMy husband is a french too, a Parisian. We don't wear the rings everyday. Sometime,we wear the rings when we go out.